Whut?

I have to edit a short film today, but I'm just not feeling it. That may sound stupid but I don't think I'm up to it at the moment. I think that if I were to edit it now, then it would be a very different film to what it should be, and that is not good at all. You can often see that in Television shows and the like, there would be episodes, or sections, where the style completely changes to very happy or sad, because of the state of mind of the director or writer or editor. I don't want that to be evident. I don't want people to see these things about me.

Staying here seems like whats going to happen. I guess I forgot that I am not destined for exceptional things, I am just one of those people who's place in this world is a mundane, underpaying job that progresses me from day to monotonous day. So no, I will not be doing anything exciting, because I wont be doing anything that actually matters. I am replaceable, it sounds depressing, I know, but I think it is oddly motivating, if i am replaceable then I better not put myself in a situation to be replaced. Everyone is the same like that. Nobody  is unreplaceable, that would be ridicules, if anything, people can always be replaced with someone better. Hm, I appear to have gone off on a tangent...I forget where I was going with this. 

Theres not much time left, a few weeks maybe, then everyone is just going to up and go. Leaving me behind, I guess the only thing I can do is make it last, and enjoy it while its here, and when the time does come, I can't, or rather, shouldn't, let the people who do stick around drift.

I don't even know what I'm on about anymore.