So apparently I got an award from a school I went to for a year and, being honest, didn't put much effort into stuff there. Is that a statement about the quality of the school or my genius? =P
I started writing a novel the other day, I'm only a couple of pages in - I'm writing in by hand so I'm not distracted and wont go back and edit entire sections. This book is going to be a full novel of drafted crap idea that (maybe) one day will become something a bit more fleshed out. I don't want to give away any information about it though because a) nobody actually cares anyway and b) It's an idea that I don't think people would understand coming from me unless you knew me.
A couple of weeks ago I made a post about my life, a sort of crash course of me - the post came from me when I was overly stressed, very upset and not really in a fit state to be sharing my feelings with the world. For the time being I'll leave it up on here, but If at anytime I feel like it is not what people need to see and know about me then I will take it down. I don't regret those feelings, I simply regret sharing them.
My parents are separated and I think any child of divorce will tell you, when parents slit up they change drastically and rapidly. The changes are continuing even after, what? 3 years maybe? And I'm just tired, that's all - I'm tired of being used as a weapon to attack each other, I'm sick of the swings in attention I get, and I'm sick of not being treated the way a normal kid would be. Lets just say I had a...different childhood to most. It's moments like these that I truly and wholly wish, from the bottom of my being that I could believe in some higher being - God. I honestly wish I could so that I could pray and ask for help, and more important forgiveness, but I can't, because there is no way for me to undo who I am or rewire the way I think. Don't get me wrong though, I don't think religious people have it easy, no - they have to deal with more or less the same stuff as everyone, but they always, no matter how hard life gets, they always have (or at least believe they have) someone watching over them, to talk to, help, and love. That's something I deeply envy, but also believe can be obtained by finding a 'soul mate' or 'true love' and being with them - ok, maybe not quite the same.
Liking someone and knowing you can never tell them, or know if they could like you back, or all the 'normal' stuff...well it sucks. People say that these situations don't exist and that you should always follow your heart, but honestly, if there is even a small chance of it leading to hurting someone I care about, then no, I will not do it. I would rather smile, and act like all is fine, and maybe even tell a few lies to keep the act up. Because that's what friendship is right?
Next year I'm staying here, getting a job or doing a course, or both, I don't know. I'd like to get a flat and get some freedom, I'd like to do this with friends, but the likelihood of this happening is slim. I mean, firstly I don't have a lot of friends, and then a few of those I do have are moving away, then of those who remain, there is a group of people who have already got everything sorted out perfectly and then the rest, who are content on staying with their parents for another year - I can't understand how they could consciously choose that, but who am I to judge.
I went to Australia, of the noble learning that I bring back with me, there is one that hits home harder than the rest - I need to start living, like properly living before the opportunity is taken away from me. I also learnt to only travel with people who treat you like an equal, and have qualities that you look up to - Friends.
Speaking of Friends, I haven't seen them - any of them, for a while...Too long by my count. It'd be nice to catch up with them. end of the world thing? Christmas? New Years? My Birthday? You don't really need an excuse to see friends. They've seen each other lately, it's just that I've been overseas that I've missed them.
I haven't really talked about Australia, I'll do a detailed post some time but heres the summary:
-I High Fived a Sting Ray
-Patted a Kangaroo
-Held a Koala
-Got Swooped by a bat
-Told off by a Magician
-Went to a Christmas in the park event (Turned out to be very Christian, Still great though)
-Hugged a Vampire
-Met the Flash
-Got saved by Superman
-Saved Superman
-Rode a Duck into the ocean
-Found Condoms on the beach
-Met a fortune teller who wore a bad Wig (HI JOY!)
-Bought a Greek coin that had been fashioned into a ring (For ironys sake)
-Bought some art
-Bought a video camera
-and a kindle
-Won a Squid
-Bought some cups
-Did a loop on a slide
-Picked up a Jellyfish
-Touched the
-Ate the hottest Jerky ever
-Gave up V
-Had a Slurpy
-Found out my blood pressure (It was bad news...Having a stroke is imminent =P)
-Traveled from 0km to 110kph in 2 seconds
-Bought the key to Arkham Asylum
-ADVENTURE TIME MERCHANDISE!
-Saw a stunt show
-Watched the sun rise at3:30am
-and set at 6:00pm
Thats all the interesting stuff I can think of right now, I'll do more later.
Starting to feel tired now, I'll update with more soon enough.
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